Searching for home

Home. Roots. Closure.

A place where we find our soul once again.

Home could mean so many different things to many of us. For some it could be the actual home where memories reside; for others it could refer to returning to their homeland—the culture and their roots. A child sits inside all of us and he/she wants to go home. It is a place where we planted our souls. People living in palaces could find home in a slum; people eating fancy food every night can find home in that cheap ice lolly they had eaten in their childhood. Home can be found in such unexpected places. We don’t always know what we are looking for.

Over the years, the many roles that we play make us forget ourselves. We long to return. Then we realize that we are unsure of where to return to—we forgot to throw the bread pieces along the way. How does one search for home?

Home could be in someone’s eyes. In the coarse lines on someone’s palm. In the soft spit in the corner of that person’s mouth when they grin. In that moment which keeps them alive forever after they breath their last.

For me, home is divided into two parts: the physical and the people. My childhood memories from Rajasthan are etched within me and make me who I am. Despite living in cities, I feel that I carry the rural spirit in my heart and I am proud to be a village girl. The second home are the people: my grand parents, my uncle, my parents, my relatives—many of the faces long perished into the soil, yet their presence lives in the spaces they had inhabited. I carry them in my heart and their memories still liven spaces where they walked, drove, smiled, cooked, played and finally, left us in.

The heart yearns to touch them but sometimes, you just have to keep them alive through their smells, talks and the way they made you feel. Nobody can take it away from you; it is in the event of death that, many times, we seem to earn that person forever. It is a security that we didn’t feel when they were alive. There is no more fear that anyone can take them away.

Home is always in you. It can never slip out of your hand. Not everything has to be touched or possessed.

 

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