The unbearable burden of kindness

How does one ever repay a kind act? Sometimes the kindness is too powerful and our mortal selves, too small to match the soft giant.

The older I get, this burden gets heavier on me. I cannot identify whether it is human nature to feel so indebted or is it a cultural cross I bear? How can I repay my parents for the countless, life-long powers they have given me? But, do we have to think like that?

In the Indian culture (like with some others), there is a huge emotional burden we all carry in our hearts, of pleasing our parents. That thought that one day they will be proud. One day they will know that I really tried my best. One day, they would see, appreciate and admire. We spend our lives trying to impress them and others and no matter how high we soar, that missing acknowledgment from them will always keep our eyes on the ground, never on the grandness of the sky. Even in the sky, the ground is familiar, the clouds aren’t.

Being less expressive like most families, it is always difficult to gauge and know. Are they proud of me? Will they ever be? 

Even if they are, how can I ever repay that kindness: that of raising us with the best, shielding us from dangers that we only saw as we stepped into their shoes, giving us education and individuality that many do not even know exist. 

For everything that they have given me, they earned a wrinkle in return.

Aside from carrying their legacy positively, how does one ever directly repay them for this kindness? I want to make my burden light.

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