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Monthly Archives: September 2013

I have been thinking about fear.

I was intriduced to Burning Man last year and ever since, a part of me tilts precariously twards it. I really wonder what it will bring to my life. I met two friends a few days back who are veteran burners and I posed this question to them: “Is Burning Man really life-changing?”

They said, “No.” But. “For people who carry a lot of fear, it is.”

I felt something that moment but unsure of what it was. I let the moment pass.

Today, while seeing a friend’s FB photos, I noticed one of her friends dressed very flamboyant. Outrageously flamboyant. It made me feel very uncomfortable. A man with some make-up on. That’s all it was. But it really hit closer to my notion of ‘normal men’.

I then realised that we have built a large comfort zone within ourselves that we choose not to ever leave. There is always a choice. I have a choice of not wanting to explore this fear in me; of not meeting people who make me comfortable. But maybe this is my blessing and my curse that I simply cannot ignore this.

Everyone has different ways of expressing themselves. I sometimes think that I am a hipster in a closet. So why does a fear exist in seeing people dress differently than what I am used to? 

We don’t have to accept everything but at least I have one less unknown to fear.

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There is something incredibly threatening about being a female. Gender equality in itself should be a worrying concept; the thought that why does such a thing need to exist?

When you are born in a conservative society, it garlands you with all its do’s and don’t’s and to seek a reality outside those is sacrilege. Every miss on that list opens way to some form of character assassination. The honour of families lie between our legs; asking questions is for the men, so is the right to love, experiment, fail and rise. This man-made society has tried fervently to paint a woman in its monotone.

As I age, I realise that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in being a woman. There is nothing shameful in my burqa, in your sari or in your little dress. We have so much trapped expression within us that it is unfair on our lives if we accept it. With a good heart beating inside you, there is nothing to be ashamed of. We have one life and we must experience everything that we can.

No, I am not in a race with men. I am in a race with my life. I have to see as much as I can before it overtakes me.

Then one day, we will be categorised as human beings. Until then, let us celebrate being The Other!

 

PS: Just clearing the head. It’s been a while since I last blogged.